Self Love and Hurting the Ones We Love

It can seem very difficult to do what we want also because we are empathic beings. We have the awareness and often it is sentient (feeling) awareness that our loved ones feel pain by our choices.  Discovering what we want is the easy part when speaking directly to our core desire. The second part is to give our desire what she wants and follow through to help, and make it so. Then, we must allow others to have the feelings they have about our choices.

Sometimes just that you exist is enough to hurt another, but again it is not you who is causing the pain.  It seems like we are the cause because we are the triggers. But we are not the cause. The cause can be difficult to see when the feelings are in a state of denial from the past, so we blame the trigger.

Then we avoid doing what we want or hiding the facts that we have done what we want in the moment, even if it’s a mistake that we would like to rewrite if we could, rather than hurt another. So now we are truly hurting ourselves in shame, another facet of guilt and judgment. Because we are so enmeshed in our relationships with each other we find it difficult to differentiate between the trigger, the other person’s feelings and our own feelings.

In Process work we use Perceptual Positions to differentiate and follow feelings back to the source of self denial and pain, to get to the real matter at hand. We practice in retrospect until we can use the tools in the moment of a trigger.

The Perceptual Positions and Judgment Release make it easy to let go of bad “feelings” of guilt, shame and even blame. Compassion and love are able to come through and shine light on the situation.

The bigger picture is revealed and it can be seen that what is best for one person, allows each to find their right place without tip toeing around to please the other.

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One Response to “Self Love and Hurting the Ones We Love”

  1. shamanee Says:

    Happy to hear from you, how is everyone?
    Inner Stars, Sisters, Maidens (Chakras) influence these actions of compassion, joy, empathy, responsibility and love (and more)

    My Path requests one tones the ‘lenses’ in these chakras, and as I dwell on Process Coaching assisting me with my Path, I sense an all-expansive healing there; how will body handle such itself? 🙂

    But this toning, and by experience, asks for a certain degree of openness of these ‘lenses’. The one extreme is women in their Moontime where they pick up EVERYthing in the air and all around them, so it hasn’t been advisable for this to be taking place in some healing circles with strangers.

    Meanwhile, this Moontime allows extrasensory prowess which they can share after such gathering.

    I was surprised what I was taught of how much these lenses must tone in or down; close…Anyway, another Path nearby. But an example of too much compassion from the heart area the reader may imagine; samples of not enough or too much responsibility taken on (yet another Inner Star). A certain degree of the lenses helps us maintain a balance; lenses in front and back of each Star Within.
    Thank you


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