Archive for the ‘emotions’ Category

Experience Process Coaching

August 15, 2010

Sample Introduction-Healing Feelings

From the creators of Process Coaching, here are some experiential samples and a discussion about the work.

http://www.processcoaching.com/feelings

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How do I improve my self-esteem? I thought I liked myself OK but why do I feel so bad?

February 9, 2010

Self-esteem, self-love and self-hatred are closely linked and not easily separated, generally speaking. One person may seem to think very highly of themselves by the way they talk about themselves. The ego is often involved in the confusion and identified as Self. There is much more to the Self than we have realized.

The ego tends to ignore and cut off or deny what it doesn’t like about the personality. It starts out early when we are babies and we try to figure out what we have done wrong and try to remake ourselves, in fear of loss of love, food or safety.

Even the parents with the best of intentions have done or said something that triggers pain in the child.

Unconscious harm and purposeful harm exponentially cause the child to shift to please the family to avoid loss of love. This has created patterns for centuries in humans.

Recognizing the self patterns and later the patterns of the family allows us to stop the repetition and the reinforcing of the patterns. You can recognize this in yourself when you decide to do something different than your own parents did that you did not like as a child.

You can also recognize this when you realize that something that has worked for one child doesn’t necessarily work for another.

While reading this, remember that this isn’t about who causes the harm. There are many levels of understanding behind “why things happen,” including that sometimes things just happen. Other times, there is a reason, but the level of each Being involved is difficult to see with only a cursory look and with old, conventional thinking. On what level is each person involved? It’s not up to us to say. We are multi-faceted Beings and not easily understood with cookie cutter eyes and theories and from looking from the outside at another.

I’m asking you to consider other possibilities because new thinking and ways of doing things are absolutely necessary for evolution, and evolution is needed now. What we have been doing isn’t working. Look at the world. Look at the destruction and hatred of people all over the planet. It is a direct reflection of what is going on inside us. The macrocosm reflects the microcosm.

When you look at someone and feel hatred, know that it is not the person you hate, but a part of yourself they are reflecting back to you. You hate the part of yourself that person is reflecting back to you. When you dislike or find yourself annoyed by another person or a kind of person, know that you dislike and are annoyed by a part of yourself. I could go much further with this, but I think you get the idea.

Back to the original question about improving self-esteem and feeling bad: You may truly love parts of yourself, and some of you may even love the bigger part of yourselves. The problem is that there is a lot that you do not love, the warts, the pimples, the “weakness,” “neediness,” when we are “over-weight,” “lazy,”” unmotivated,” “selfish” or “shy,” etc. You can write a list of what you like or don’t like about yourself or anyone, including the state of the planet. (Our part in the state of the planet is another discussion altogether.) I am using quotation marks because these are all judgments.

The secret to more self-esteem and self-love is not only to practice and love the parts that you have not loved for so long. The secret is to release the thoughts, the judgments and beliefs that keep you from being able to accept the love coming into you from all around you! If you are not feeling loved in your life, you can then find out how to take yourself out of un-loving situations, and find ones that are right for you, when you are loved and appreciated just as you are. You never have to stay where you are not loved. It can be difficult to see the way out when you believe what un-loving words and doubt have to say.

But it becomes increasingly easy to ignore those words when you can feel and accept the love the world and people around you have to offer. It is much easier to love yourself when judgments (denial) are released. Loving the self is the source of self-esteem and self-worth. This is also how you learn to release the “bad” feelings mentioned in the question we started with. (See above.)

If you would like help improving your self-esteem and self love, talk to a Process Coach and we can help you along the way until you are ready to continue on your own.

http://www.processcoaching.com

For my personal page http://www.processcoaching.com/cathy

Parenting Ourselves

September 18, 2009

penguinSince I’m doing a workshop called “Parenting Ourselves,” I thought I would explain a bit what that’s about.

Have you ever had the experience of witnessing an adult behaving like a temper tantrumming child, an afraid child or an inconsolable, sobbing child? Do you recall perhaps behaving like one, despite your intentions to remain calm in trying situations?

What you may realize is how often this actually happens! How can we help ourselves in those moments when we feel we can’t cope?

Daily life triggers us into the hurt child quite easily. (The child is the metaphor for the feeling.) It is the desire of the child to be accepted and understood. We may recreate similar situations over and over until we learn from them. We call that imprinting or blueprinting. Who is the part of us that can and is willing to accept and bring understanding to the child? S/He is what we call, the Healer or Parental Self.

“Parenting Ourselves” is how we help ourselves instead of merely coping. It is the Healer taking the role of a new, supportive parent to the child inside, in the moment of the trigger. Our parents did the best they could with the tools they had, the same as we as adults do the best we can with our own children. But we know best what we need now (and what we needed in the past) though we usually don’t realize it.

We are all learning as we go. There are so many variables, it can be hard to know what to do in the moment, even with the seemingly best advice and experience we can get outside of ourselves through well-meaning friends and family. The biggest variable: children have different needs beyond basic survival. When we are triggered in the moment (or rather, out of the moment, into the past) acting as children raising children, we can hardly give our kids what they need when they need us the most! So we must do what we can to be there for them completely as adults, not as triggered children!

It is not impossible, but it takes some practice and exploring choices when we are triggered in order to help ourselves, and be better equipped to help our little ones.

Working in Retrospect

We practice by working in retrospect with the imagination. Just as you can prepare yourself for tough projects or practice a new skill by visualization, you can learn how to be more present by re-visiting past events with your imagination and bringing the new information—what you have learned as an adult from the very mistakes you have made—to the event. We call this “Repairing the Past” and “Regression.”

We can also change the mind by releasing judgments. Judgments and beliefs are decisions made as a child affect our whole lives until we are conscious of them and choose to let them go. The judgments and beliefs we are letting go are the ones that are not helping us have the life the way we truly want it to be. “Judgment Release” makes this easy.

The Parenting Workshop teaches you to apply this information and facilitates support with the teacher and fellow students. You can ask questions and practice the new tools until you are ready to do it on your own.(Next month: What are triggers? How do you identify them? And then what?)

With practice you will be able to always be there for yourself! In the meantime you can remove yourself from the trigger until you feel you can help yourself again (“Parenting Ourselves.”) If you are afraid to revisit the past, know that you are not “re-living” the past. You are bringing resources to the past. You are bringing the one that can help you the best! Your adult self.

http://processcoachingwithcathybreshears.eventbrite.com For Registration! 

***If you’ve already taken the Foundations Class, you may audit this class for free. (Future workshops can be audited for half the cost.)

***The early bird discount is extended until the day of the workshop, which starts next week!

How to Thrive Eating Differently Than the People Around You and in the Fast Food Culture We Live In (Part One)

July 22, 2009
You’ll notice when you change your diet, one of the challenges that comes up very quickly is the social aspect of eating. We are social creatures and most of our social gatherings revolve around food. Of course, we have to eat wherever we go!
I’ve been a vegetarian for 19 years now, so I’ve been experimenting with this a lot. However, this article is not going to be about eating vegetarian. It’s going to be about eating differently than the people in your life, wherever you go, regardless of what you are choosing to eat. Most of my examples however, will be vegan or low fat raw vegan.
Choice
We often forget this:what we put into our bodies is absolutely, as adults, our individual choice. I am often asked, “Is it OK for you to eat (fill in the blank)?” My response to this question is, “I can eat whatever I want!” Whatever I eat or do not eat is based on what diets or lifestyles (I consider yoga, vegetarian, raw foodist, etc., lifestyles rather than diets) I’m exploring. So here is another reminder for you: Different diets are not dogmas! Anytime you create a dogma for yourself, your whole being will resist and/or feel deprived.  Use the diet as a guideline, and feel what your body feels when you make changes. I find it useful to track the changes in writing so I can look back. When you start feeling good, you forget how you felt when you were eating the foods you don’t eat anymore.
I’ve definitely kept my family on their toes with all my dietary changes and experimenting over the years. But I do not feel deprived because I’m choosing foods that are healthy for my body. What is loving to remember, is that they also have a choice. So I don’t get up on my soap box and preach about what I eat. I’ve had to teach my daughter to be compassionate about others’ choices about eating meat. She hasn’t eaten meat her whole life, so to her it was a shock when people would “eat her friends.” To her, meat is not food! Most of our loved ones do eat meat, and we often eat together, so I had to quickly teach her not to exclaim, “Disgusting!” Rather, we explain why we don’t eat meat.
Defense
You don’t have to defend your choice to anyone, but it does help them to be compassionate with you. But first you have to be comfortable with it and compassionate with yourself.  Why are you eating the way you are?  Are you eating that way because someone told you to? Or is it because of something you learned? Educating yourself is the best defense if you want to have that conversation. But you don’t even have to have that conversation. Most of the questions I get are based on old food education (Basic 4 food groups or the food pyramid) or the media. The most common question I get is, “Where do you get your protein?”
Generally, if someone is asking questions, they are more open to discussing new ways, so this can be an invitation for learning. However, if someone is eating unconsciously, you might trigger some guilt they have about what they are eating.  Dr. Douglas Graham suggests a couple things you can say when you are asked about your way of eating during a meal: 1) Let the person know that you would love to talk to them after the meal. 2) Tell them a doctor prescribed the diet for you.  I generally will answer questions because it’s a subject that I love to discuss. But sometimes I would rather discuss other things!  It can be quite fascinating to people when you only eat raw fruits and vegetables, so it’s a hot topic!
Judgment
If you are having a hard time, or finding yourself defensive or upset, the easiest way to work with it is, as always, with yourself. This can go both ways. You can become angry that you are being judged or attacked (which could mean that you believe what they are saying to you on some level), or you may feel angry or upset about the way they are eating (which could mean you are angry or upset about the way you are treating yourself, generally speaking.) To break from this pattern, when you start to feel these feelings, allow them to be just as they are.  To do that, pause and reflect before you react. If you need to step away from the situation triggering you, do that. Imagine a small child is feeling the feelings and be receptive and loving to the part of you that is upset and angry.  If it is an emergency, you can imagine you’re holding the child and say, “I love you” over and over. If you have more time, ask “What is the judgment?” and follow these steps. Judgment Release Practice.
Next month: Part 2: Practical Food Ideas for Social Situations

You’ll notice when you change your diet, one of the challenges that comes up very quickly is the social aspect of eating. We are social creatures and most of our social gatherings revolve around food. Of course, we have to eat wherever we go!

I’ve been a vegetarian for 19 years now, so I’ve been experimenting with this a lot. However, this article is not going to be about eating vegetarian. It’s going to be about eating differently than the people in your life, wherever you go, regardless of what you are choosing to eat. Most of my examples however, will be vegan or low fat raw vegan, which is how I eat presently.

Choice

We often forget this: what we put into our bodies is absolutely, as adults, our individual choice. I am often asked, “Is it OK for you to eat (fill in the blank)?” My response to this question is, “I can eat whatever I want!” Whatever I eat or do not eat is based on what diets or lifestyles (I consider yoga, vegetarian, raw foodist, etc., lifestyles rather than diets) I’m exploring. So here is another reminder for you: Different diets are not dogmas! Anytime you create a dogma for yourself, your whole being will resist and/or feel deprived.  Use the diet as a guideline, and feel what your body feels when you make changes. I find it useful to track the changes in writing so I can look back. When you start feeling good, you forget how you felt when you were eating the foods you don’t eat anymore.

I’ve definitely kept my family on their toes with all my dietary changes and experimenting over the years. But I do not feel deprived because I’m choosing foods that are healthy for my body. What is loving to remember, is that they also have a choice. So I don’t get up on my soap box and preach about what I eat. I’ve had to teach my daughter to be compassionate about others’ choices about eating meat. She hasn’t eaten meat her whole life, so to her it was a shock when people would “eat her friends.” To her, meat is not food! Most of our loved ones do eat meat, and we often eat together, so I had to quickly teach her not to exclaim, “Disgusting!” Rather, we explain why we don’t eat meat.

Defense

You don’t have to defend your choice to anyone, but it does help them to be compassionate with you. But first you have to be comfortable with it and compassionate with yourself.  Why are you eating the way you are?  Are you eating that way because someone told you to? Or is it because of something you learned? Educating yourself is the best defense if you want to have that conversation. But you don’t even have to have that conversation. Most of the questions I get are based on old food education (Basic 4 food groups or the food pyramid) or the media. The most common question I get is, “Where do you get your protein?”

Generally, if someone is asking questions, they are more open to discussing new ways, so this can be an invitation for learning. However, if someone is eating unconsciously, you might trigger some guilt they have about what they are eating.  Dr. Douglas Graham suggests a couple things you can say when you are asked about your way of eating during a meal: 1) Let the person know that you would love to talk to them after the meal. 2) Tell them a doctor prescribed the diet for you.  I generally will answer questions because it’s a subject that I love to discuss. But sometimes I would rather discuss other things!  It can be quite fascinating to people when you only eat raw fruits and vegetables, so it’s a hot topic!

Judgment

If you are having a hard time, or finding yourself defensive or upset, the easiest way to work with it is, as always, with yourself. This can go both ways. You can become angry that you are being judged or attacked (which could mean that you believe what they are saying to you on some level), or you may feel angry or upset about the way they are eating (which could mean you are angry or upset about the way you are treating yourself, generally speaking.) To break from this pattern, when you start to feel these feelings, allow them to be just as they are.  To do that, pause and reflect before you react. If you need to step away from the situation triggering you, do that. Imagine a small child is feeling the feelings and be receptive and loving to the part of you that is upset and angry.  If it is an emergency, you can imagine you’re holding the child and say, “I love you” over and over. If you have more time, feel the feeling,  ask “What is the judgment?” and follow these steps. Judgment Release Practice.

Next month: Part 2: Practical Food Ideas for Social Situations

Mental/Psychological attitude and Heart Health (responding to Dr. Nick Friedman’s “Naturopathic Notes”)

June 3, 2009

Rather than talking about positive or negative thinking, I like to think about focusing on what I want, instead of what I don’t want. That is where choice does come in, as Dr. Nick mentioned in his blog. One of my mentors described it to me as choosing from a great feast, only the things I truly want—whether that is about food or what I want for my life. (I also try to steer clear of good and bad judgments, which includes using the words “positive and negative.” The feelings and expression of feelings have been judged as negative or lesser than what is in the mind, but mind and feelings are equally important.)

On the subject of heart health, how loving are you to yourself will effect you physically. You can eat a raw vegan, low fat diet, exercise daily and do everything recommended for heart health but if you do not pay attention to the emotional aspect, you are not working for the “Wholeness” that is you. Your whole being needs to be nurtured and cared for, including your emotional heart. What that means varies for each of us though.

How do you practice loving yourself? It does take practice, because we’ve been taught to love and serve others above ourselves. I have to practice myself. When I feel the urge to pour love into someone, when I am feeling unhappy or uncomfortable, I look at where that urge is coming from. Is it coming from an expression of love for another? Or is it coming from a desire or need to be loved in the way that I am expressing it?

If it is coming from a need, rather than a true expression of love, I turn it inward to myself. I buy the flowers for my own home, take time to do something that really nurtures me (instead of trying to make everyone else happy), or simply take time to sit with myself with all my attenion inward. I fulfill my own needs. From there my heart opens and I have much more desire to express love and joy to people in my life, in fact its boundless!

Affirmations, positive thinking and mantras help to focus the mind to retrain it to be supportive to the self, but they are not the end-all to well-being. It is also important to listen to all parts of the self, including the feelings and the body. When they are all integrated and coming again, from the Whole, true well being and health can be attained.

Process Coaching classes will begin in September. Please let me know if you’d like to attend a demo or come to the classes.

www. CathyBreshears.com

CathyBreshears@gmail.com

Love Denied

May 18, 2009

The different kinds of denial that we work with in Process Coaching are basically denial of the self (love and acceptance), and deep denial energy. It is not necessary to work with the denial of others, because once you stop denying yourself and become accepting of yourself, you will not deny others. You may choose to not have them in your life or focus on them, but you do not deny their existence or who they are.

Denial has been a problem for us because we cannot see whatever we are denying. Where there is denial present, love cannot be present. Once you’ve seen what’s been in denial, it is no longer a denial, and the light of understanding and feeling can come together into balance and loving acceptance.

How do we see what we’ve been denying? A strong indication of a denial presence is a “bad feeling” felt in your body. The judgment or thought or value that is unsupportive or unloving that says you or something you’ve said, done, believed or felt is wrong. The people in our lives we hire in our “movie” (See Movie Metaphor)  will reflect what we’ve denied in ourselves that we love and that we don’t love until we “peel off the projection” and bring it home. So it’s helpful and interesting to look at what the reflections are showing us and bringing back the parts we’ve denied, home to ourselves.

When we adore people we generally love what they are reflecting that we love about ourselves. That usually isn’t a problem for us, unless the love is not returned. It can be quite enjoyable to love yourself through another. (Although loving yourself in yourself and loving the other as they are is even more satisfying!!)

When we dislike or hate another person, it is helpful to ask, when have I been like this person? The fiercer that we deny we are like them, the more likely we are denying that we are just that, like them, and refuse to look at how or when we have been like them. (You hit the jackpot to begin the quest for self knowledge!!)

Deep denial energy is a little different but just as easy to release. (For more information about deep denial energy read the article HERE. ) Indications of deep denial energy are apparent when there are thoughts of hurting the self or another, as in suicide and abuse.

 Deep denial energy and self denial do not allow love in so it can seem quite difficult to bring love into where it is needed the most without the tools of Process Coaching to release them. It is not a lost cause and can be helped quite easily.

If this sounds familiar, let me know or come to a Process Coaching workshop near you. There are also Coaches available for telephone sessions, where I will be one of them, at our website. 

Yoga: My Yoga workshops are now on my calendar at www.cathybreshears.com

 To register for the next Spring Cleaning Yoga Workshop on May 30th, please go here and use password CathyB.

How to Accept Our Loved One’s Choices

March 31, 2009

Often times we are going about fine, OK or we think “I shouldn’t complain, should I?” But when we look at others’ lives we really get set off.  We get angry or hurt and just plain “can’t understand” why they do what they do. Why do they hurt me? What did I do to deserve this?

Of course we often cannot understand absolutely what another’s choices are. But we can have compassion for them and listen to their reasoning or understanding  and begin to understand their choices by looking from their perspective.  But even with all the tools of compassion and understanding, what is most important is not why or what anyone has done, but how we feel about it.

We cannot change anyone. We often cannot get our loved ones to do what we want, but we are not meant to do that. All we can do is work with how we feel about it. It is a learning process for some to know what they are truly feeling in the moment. Often we are triggered into an earlier experience that is unresolved or there are beliefs and judgments confusing what we really feel. Unraveling or Releasing the Judgments takes the discomfort off of the emotions. The past trauma causing triggered emotions to resurface in the present isn’t even as important as the feeling that is coming up. The feeling needs to be loved and accepted just the way it is.

So another’s choice bothering us is actually an opportunity to bring support to feelings and parts of ourselves that we have never been able to accept or support until now. Learning to accept and support the feeling is loving the feeling and loving ourselves.

When we follow the feeling to find what is needed to support it and bring love to it, we can allow our loved ones to make the choices right for them and they will learn to do the same for us.
www.cathybreshears.com
www.processcoaching.com/cathy

Self Love and Hurting the Ones We Love

December 29, 2008

It can seem very difficult to do what we want also because we are empathic beings. We have the awareness and often it is sentient (feeling) awareness that our loved ones feel pain by our choices.  Discovering what we want is the easy part when speaking directly to our core desire. The second part is to give our desire what she wants and follow through to help, and make it so. Then, we must allow others to have the feelings they have about our choices.

Sometimes just that you exist is enough to hurt another, but again it is not you who is causing the pain.  It seems like we are the cause because we are the triggers. But we are not the cause. The cause can be difficult to see when the feelings are in a state of denial from the past, so we blame the trigger.

Then we avoid doing what we want or hiding the facts that we have done what we want in the moment, even if it’s a mistake that we would like to rewrite if we could, rather than hurt another. So now we are truly hurting ourselves in shame, another facet of guilt and judgment. Because we are so enmeshed in our relationships with each other we find it difficult to differentiate between the trigger, the other person’s feelings and our own feelings.

In Process work we use Perceptual Positions to differentiate and follow feelings back to the source of self denial and pain, to get to the real matter at hand. We practice in retrospect until we can use the tools in the moment of a trigger.

The Perceptual Positions and Judgment Release make it easy to let go of bad “feelings” of guilt, shame and even blame. Compassion and love are able to come through and shine light on the situation.

The bigger picture is revealed and it can be seen that what is best for one person, allows each to find their right place without tip toeing around to please the other.

Food and Emotions

August 1, 2008

Did you ever wonder why it has been difficult to change your diet? (If it hasn’t been difficult for you, consider yourself blessed!) No matter what we know to be the ideal way for us to eat, we still gravitate towards “comfort” foods and cravings.

It may seem the body is calling for these foods, especially with cravings, but our bodies are too out of balance to trust that cravings are right for us. Most of the time, it is the unconscious mind and unconscious body calling out for theses foods.

Most of us are emotional eaters and don’t realize it. We start to associate food with love at the first suckle as a baby. From there on out, especially in old parenting paradigms, with love comes food.

 

Food has been used for comfort and to pacify in many ways. For example, when the baby cries, we wonder first, is s/he hungry? What if we considered that the baby might just have something to say, with a very limited vocabulary? “I’m angry, I’m scared! Hold me!” Instead of letting them be and holding them we try to ….make…it…..stop!!!, as our own uncomfortable emotions are triggered.

 

The foods we call “comfort foods” and have cravings for relate back to early years when love = food. So what are your comfort foods and cravings? Trace them back…

 

Another aspect of food that creates warm fuzzy feelings is community. Of course we celebrate everything with food and drink! And celebration is a pretty common reason/excuse to “live it up!” and forget all attempts at conscious eating. So when you try to make changes, there is a lot to wrangle with. How can you create new comfort foods and new cravings?

My 12 year old daughter has not been a big fruit lover in her recent years, but loves the effect eating raw has had on me. So she says to me, “Mom, you eat raw and I’ll eat a little bit later, when I’m older.”

Now since there is a lot of fruit laying around and I’ve been weeding out other choices in my kitchen, she’s getting more of an appetite for fruit. The other day she asked me to make her a fruit plate, so I decided to appeal to her aesthetic eye. I made her a mandala of fruit, with chopsticks! She was so amazed at the beauty of the colors and design she happily ate it and asked for more.

So now I’m spending some time getting real creative to inspire her. She knows she’s got me because I’m so happy that she’s eating fruit. Even the fruit she doesn’t like, she appreciates for art’s sake (and saves them for me). Inside, I’m more than happy, I’m ecstatic because I know I’m creating some warm fuzzy fruit associations. Love and fruit!

I have a few fruit rituals, like cutting up 3-4 raw mangoes and eating them with pure delight and joy, eating a pile of bananas one after the other, eating stinky durian with my friend Nadja, eating a monster mixing bowl of salad with my daughter (the only way she wants it), and smuggling grapes into the movie theatre.

 

So while you’re shifting your ideas and beliefs about food that you can live without, create new rituals with the food that you consciously want on your plate. Before long you will have unconsciously replaced the old comfort foods and cravings with new ones, and eating what’s natural for your body will come naturally.

 

Excuse me while I lounge and have grapes fed to me, one…by…one…

 

(I’d love to hear about your fruity rituals!)

Pandora’s Box

June 15, 2008

When I have mentioned that I help people with emotional healing, I often see the reaction that it is Pandora’s Box that I am opening. It is a bit of a misunderstanding here, because of the misunderstanding of the work, and the emotions themselves.

 

It hasn’t been friendly to express the so-called “negative” emotions of fear, anger and grief. I have discussed these emotions in previous newsletters and how we create safety for these emotions, which are as much about human Being as the “positive” emotions of joy, passion and love.

 

One thing that helps the fear is recognizing the difference between trafficking in the future (which hasn’t happened yet) or excitement and guidance, true help for self in the moment.  Sometimes we fear that we are going to experience exactly what has happened in the past, which isn’t true. Just because something has happened in the past doesn’t mean it will happen again, unless we believe it will (or many people believe it will). This is when mind interferes with being in the moment.  Fear coming from intuitive guidance can be quite useful, and when listened to can keep us from taking a wrong turn or packing a raincoat (metaphorically and literally speaking).

It has also been the fear that we will have to re-live the traumas that have caused us to feel these emotions from our past. “Don’t look back!” Living in the past definitely does not help, but looking at the past to learn from it can also be quite useful.

 

The key point that I want to make here is that there is a big difference to re-living the past traumas and doing this work.  First we are bringing resources to parts of ourselves that did not have resources. Meaning, we the Healers are doing what it takes to help where there wasn’t ever before. We are further along in our healing and evolution than we ever have been. (The war, heartache and ails of humanity on Earth does not mean there is no hope for us—but that is a discussion for another newsletter.)

 

How can we help ourselves by visiting our past? When we realize that we are still reacting and responding to our past as if it were happening now, bringing the help to the child in us helps the cycle of reacting and re-traumatizing. In the body the past and the present are the same. It is only the mind that uses linear time to identify itself.

 

So it works. The child and adult self feel better and the patterns are changed—we are constantly learning.

 

The part of the story of Pandora’s Box that I like to remind you of is that Hope was not released to wreak havoc on humanity, but remained in the box (actually a jar), for there is always hope to heal.

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pandora%27s_Box

 

 

 


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