Posts Tagged ‘Unconditional Love’

Selfish or Self-Love

November 10, 2008

Selfish or Self-love?

How many times have you been told that you are being selfish or told someone else that they are being selfish, as if it were a bad thing?

You might be thinking to yourself that is correct, but please stay with me.

What is selfish exactly? Is it that you are doing something wrong, or are you doing what’s right for you? “Selfish” is a judgment.  When you are selfish, you are doing something that another doesn’t want you to do. We are taught that we should serve others first, whether it is in a relationship, the family, or society. But what happens when we take care of others first? Is there anything left for ourselves to give? We get burned out. Who knows what you need or want most? Only you know and only you can fulfill yourself.  The funny thing is that, when you are fulfilled, you have so much more to give and more desire to give.  The urge to give when your cup is full is the expression of love, which is joy.  Gifts or service that come from this expression of love and joy are wonderful to accept and no one is depleted.  Gifts and service made out of guilt and self-judgment from a depleted source doesn’t feel good to anyone.


It takes a little practice after being told for so long that you should do what’s right for the greater good. How do we differentiate between what we want and what we’ve been told for so long is right? Do you know what you want? Do you know what is right for you? One way is to ask the question, is it what I really, really want?

Or, if I have that, what do I want that is deeper and more meaningful? This is part of a tool of Process Coaching that we use to become clearer about what our desire is all the way down to what our True Core Desire is. Core Desires behind every need or want relate back to basic desire for Love, Acceptance, Freedom and Peace. Once we reach the Core Desire we ask Desire how we can help to make it possible and do what it takes.

Do What You Want to Do in the Moment

What would happen if everyone did what they really want?  It would be a very different reality here on Earth. How much more love would there be to give if we were full of it ourselves?  Would we stop to help a person in need out of love and compassion? Would we seek to assist a single mother or father to raise their children like a village would?  Would we treat others as wonderful reflections of ourselves?  Would we seek to harm another person, child or our self? Would we subject ourselves to working at jobs that compromise our beings?  It might be hard to imagine because we haven’t experienced it yet. But it’s a good time to make changes on Earth.  (More to come…)

Unconditional Love for Body

June 17, 2008


“How do I love my body unconditionally when I don’t like the way it looks and feels?”


First of all, I want to mention that asking a question is the first step to healing, and to discovering that anything is possible.  All you have to do is ask how, why, what or when?


I begin by asking this particular question because it is a common question among clients of mine. It implies a couple things that are misunderstood again, in healing.


Your body is not a thing separate from your Self, it is the physical manifestation of who you are. You are much more vast than your body can hold at this time—but your body is a manifestation of the aspect of yourself that you are concerned with at this time and place. Take a moment and breathe into your feet, feel the seat beneath you, feel your eyes focus as you read the words on this page (yes you can feel your eyes focus, if you take notice).


The other misunderstanding is about unconditional love. Unconditional love it not forced love. There is nothing forceful about it. It is love allowed, it is acceptance. Unconditional love of your body is loving acceptance for your body, no matter what your body looks like or feels like.


So now the question is, how do we begin to love our bodies when we have been neglecting body for so long?


This is the same work we do to heal our lives and our emotions. Realize that your present body is a result of the love, care and attention you have given your body and your Self up to this moment. This includes the beliefs and judgments on body.


You can realize what those beliefs are very easily. We repeat the statements about our body quite often. “I am fat. I am out of shape. I haven’t exercised for months. I don’t have time to exercise. I don’t eat very healthy. Etc. I don’t like my body.” And we perpetuate these statements in the way we treat ourselves and the cycle continues. Now when I say “ourselves” I am including our bodies in that statement.


Accepting that the health and condition of your body is a result of what your beliefs and judgments are is easier to do knowing this.


But what about genetics? I’m ready for this question!  Genetics is about collective and ancestral beliefs. Have you noticed how easily we have accepted that we are going to have the same conditions of our ancestors? It is true that the chances have been higher—but what if we choose to follow in a different path than the path of our ancestors in this manner? Can we learn from their mistakes and do things different? Make new choices?


So the health and condition of our bodies is the result of beliefs and judgments of ourselves and of our ancestors beliefs and judgments.


What is important to consider here is this:  if my body is a result, what can I do to change the result? Start accepting that you have been doing the best you can. Start by treating your body knowing that you are creating your body anew. Change what you do with your new knowledge without beating yourself up for your past. As difficulties come up, because change can be difficult (harder than staying the same) and be compassionate to yourself. Watch, wait and see the changes. I love you Body, I love you, I love you, I love Me.

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